4:: The Fuck you will!

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KIDS’ MOTHER: I’m glad you guys are asking the questions I’m trying to steer you towards, although poor li’l Addy got snubbed somehow on that one, guess she doesn’t count since she isn’t in SVM. The answer to that mystical part of the story is not so black or white and we will be exploring this arc maybe longer than some of you may like to. I’ll give you a hint: This is a VERY magical AU fiction, so let your imagination go and reach far above the stars. Way beyond the human scientific perceptions of paternal and maternal genetic contribution, biological or surrogate mothers, sperm donors, pregnancy duration and so forth and hopefully we meet at the end for a good stiff drink. Let the betting begin! (*in my defense a TB fae baked a bunch of them babies in a span of a few days and had orgasms, that put even pornstars to shame, while giving birth and who’s to say that Sookie wasn’t simply too selfish of her V-card and didn’t ask Gran to do the heavy lifting for her, j/j in case you took me seriously on that last one)

OMG, you guys, one of my all-time idols of fanfic writers punched a ticket for this crazy AU train, totally having a fan girl moment over her, that should just tell you what my crazy a** will do if I ever get my hands on Eric’s delicious behind. Yum! LOL

Manny thanks to jules3677 and treewitch7031 🙂

Now let’s get this train moving…. Hope you enjoy the ride, the scenery is spectacular I hear :)!

Eric stared blankly at Dr. Ludwig, not a single twitch on his imperturbable expression or the slightest muscle tic on his body, one chiseled by the Gods themselves.

“Oh, goody, here I was going out my mind thinking: Could it be that they are stuck in some mystical place called the Total Eclipse, no one has ever heard of?” was his instant response with an uber calm demeanor, albeit doing nothing to subdue the raising panic within him or his all-consuming desire to immediately decapitate Ludwig.

Their bizarre interaction would have an onlooker deduce that she all but casually informed him that the family of three went for refreshing ice creams and will be back in a second. While, it just happened to dawn on Eric that they forgot to put sunscreen before they left the house: no biggie, just dab a little Aloe Vera on those bad boys when they get back, all blistered to hell and all will be swell with the world once again.

“No one said there isn’t anything to worry about, assholio.” Ludwig hissed exasperated. Growling her professional diagnosis of his perpetual condition, right back in his face.

Even a blind-deaf person could not miss the dislike and hostility between the two. One could go as far as declare it an outright war for supremacy and their conduct to be one of implacable hatred. No fluffy kittens or glitter pooping unicorns over here, more like nuclear bombs and biochemical weapons of mass destruction. The major problem with that: it was all of a Supernatural nature with the potential of getting extremely ugly, exceedingly fast. Their arsenals were far more diabolic than any human military possessed, one that the JSOC Seal Team Six would have a field day with, a guarantee that the entire Supe world would ‘Get Some!’.

The tension in the room could be sliced with a dull butter knife, it was that dense.

Yes, it was true, Ludwig did have an aversion to the children of the night, seeing how she fell from the distant branches of the sunny Faerie family tree. But, she has always been able to keep her dealings not only with vampires, but with all species, professional. Consequently she was met with the utmost respect throughout the Supe community. Something not easily achieved, seeing how vampires rose every nightfall with egos the size of the universe.  Eric may not have liked the diminutive healer enough to extend a dinner invitation to her, but he too had always been able to keep their interactions amicable.

Not even during their second acquaintance many centuries ago, in which Eric found himself minutes or maybe even seconds away from a painful true death, did they either display so much odium or hurl insults and death threats towards one another and Eric was definitely feeling like lashing out at anything at the time.  That was the only time Dr. Ludwig had ever expressed her true personal opinion of his grandiose self-image and only in an unsubtle proclamation of him being “an utter fool”.  The last thing Eric wanted to hear and still he held his tongue (for the most part, he did call her “an elevated midget wanna be” after all).

She did have a valid point, seeing how he was stuck in the frozen caves of the Himalayas after spending close to nine months and two trips around the globe as a High Enforcer in pursuit of a deranged vampire almost twice his age. Only to be lured into a trap and receive a rather nasty silver poisoning for all his efforts.  It was his first assignment after all and Eric’s last mistake.

Had it not been for his Maker, or the only one he considered as such, sensing Eric’s discomfort through their bond and learning the details of his mission from The Pythoness, Eric would have died unremarked.

Of course The Old Bat was informed that, if Eric were to meet his true death she better start running and never stop. Though the words used were closer to her Old Bat Ass better fly high in the sky and pray she does not run into the sharpen end of a tree branch. Something she was not over thrilled to hear. Like vamp daddy, like son, disrespectful and arrogant as they come.

Ultimately his Maker was successful in locating Eric, only to find him knocking at death’s ice cold gates.  Not an easy task to call for the Doctor’s assistance, since cell phones did not even exist then even in the shape of a carryout suitcase along with the supplementary case housing its battery.  Otherwise Eric was certain he would have perished no later than first sunlight. The harsh winter temperature muted his reluctant call for help and the cave’s remote location made his rescue that much more complex.

Even then Dr. Ludwig and Eric were able to communicate like somewhat civilized beings. Mostly because of Eric having been able to metaphorically see the bright sunny light at the end of the tunnel for the impending demise of his target, what with his Maker declaring that he will be joining him on the hunt. No one messed with his beloved Childe!

However, tonight Ludwig and Eric’s behaviors towards each other were anything but civil and Eric was not seeing anything close to a metaphorical bright light at the end of any tunnels.

Eric fancied himself an expert at any and all Supernatural matters, thanks to his Maker passing his vast knowledge to him. If he was at an utter loss at any point of reference, apropos the locality Ludwig so casually mentioned in passing, it all spelled nothing short of an unstoppable disaster. If his undead heart still beat, he was positive it would be going into a cardiac arrest at this very instant or at the very least pitifully trying to catch his breath in the midst of an epic panic attack. His inner beast was roaring at him, scratching and tearing at the cage confining it, seconds away from indulging in a killing spree. Earth may not even exist as a word in any language after his beast was done raining terror down upon it.

Panic and fear over the unknown fate of HIS family was a completely foreign emotion to both Eric and his untamable fiend, being the one in control was the only state they were familiar with.  Yet, true to his vampiric nature no external disquiet was visible of his inner turmoil.

The breathtaking sunny rondure with the flawless beauty and grace of a song performed by Orpheus himself, glided through the air towards Eric and embraced him in its warm rays. It enveloped Eric in a soft blanket of internal peace, gifting him with the long forgotten healing power of the sun. It obviously was aware of the vampire’s desperate need of a proverbial chill pill. However that did nothing but further infuriate Eric, like he needed a boost in Vitamin D anyway. He did not want to be calmed, he wanted answers and above all he wanted an immediate solution to HIS family’s condition.

“Where is this place, The Total Eclipse, you speak of Ludwig? The explanation better be summed in copious bulky tomes!” Eric boomed this time, at both her and her uninvited annoying dickhead sidekick.

Though silent as ever the sunny rondure pulsated more brightly, it obviously had something to say. Ludwig once again found herself in the thrall of a second laughing spell. This time she was laughing so hard, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes.  It all looked no less fucking creepy on her as before. Eric was far from amused with both of their evident exhibitions of an unfortunate case of the assholio ailment.

Fucking great, these two were the shitheads he was forced to work with? Just fang-fucking-tastic!

Eric kept mentally repeating his mantra of four seconds time he was giving them to pull their collective shit together and cease pissing him off. Plus, the forest size shitload of paperwork he would have to submit to the Supe Council, in triplicate, if he were to slay them. Only the Gods knew how much additional bullshit-work he would have to do for the case of little bouncy yo-yo shitface over there.

And we all know, there was nothing more this Viking hated than paperwork and the fucking rule stating that all submittals must be of not one, but three signed copies since the Great Reveal. Like he did not have better things to do with his time.

4 seconds, shitload of paperwork. 4 seconds, shitload of paperwork ….

“I swear to all Gods, Ludwig you’ve got less than a nanosecond, before I rip your head off and start practicing the full extent of my superior coordination skills as I claim the all-time championship in soccer” the last part was directed straight at said shithead, in a form of a sunny rondure.

The sunny fucker, whose gender or motives Eric still had not figured out was dancing through the air like it had no care in the world. Was this some kind of fairy fuckary and this asshole was purposely pretending to be one of the leads on Disney On Ice? It sure as fuck it looked to Eric that the fucker was also under the influence of something and Ludwig needed to inject him with its own brand of antidote for stupidity. Pronto! Let see how dickhead likes the hell troll’s bedside manners?

It was also more than obvious that said shithead had to be clued in what Eric was aiming for, because Ludwig had to quickly explain the threat of his statement and as a result found herself, yet again with a case of the schoolgirl giggles. All was shits and giggles with these two, which was the case with all morons until someone giggles and then shits.

For Eric that was it!

He advanced on the little hell troll, he would find the answers he desperately sought somewhere else. Ludwig wasted no time teleporting back to the bed, medical bag in hand, as she calmly addressed him.

“The Crease, the Fold, the Bend, as it has been referred under so many different names throughout the eons, is where THEY reside.” She stated with a subtle connotation towards the sunny rondure. Had Eric not been a vampire he would have missed it.

“Where is it located?” he asked impatiently, he was already mentally packing his suitcase of needed weapons for all but an easy breezy vacay trip to go and retrieve HIS family back to where they rightfully belonged.

By HIS side, damn it!

“The fuck should I know, it’s not like I have been invited for a tea party over there.” Ludwig answered irritated at his naivety and utter stupidity.

“I swear …” Eric began, but she quickly cut him off.

“Vampire, the place or maybe even places we are talking about, and again I have only very limited knowledge of all this, is the space between realms, but more like between whole universes from my understanding.” She rushed her words.

Eric showed absolutely no reaction to her words, he was the picture of perfect deathly stillness only a vampire could present when facing an apocalyptic disaster.  Inside he was freaking THE FUCK out of what that could possibly imply for the condition of HIS family. Nothing remotely pleasant, he was convinced of at least that much.

This may have been the first time he was truly lost for words or any form of resolution. It was like he went into idle downtime, a place a vampire retreats to in between times of endless boredom waiting for eternal undead life to pick up speed again.

Well, shit! The owls were incontestably not what they seem.

“Who are THEY?” he asked hoping and praying that there lay the solution to this clusterfuck.

Ludwig did not answer him and only turned to the, all but forgotten, sunny rondure and it looked to Eric as they were having a silent conversation between themselves, fucking rude besties, until she turned and answered him in a very uneasy voice.

“Let’s call them the Architects or better the Creators for all intense and purposes.”

Eric was beyond infuriated at her never ending crappy game of cryptography.

“Are we talking Thomas Crapper here? The Creators of fucking what exactly, the fucking Tamagotchi, the…” Eric thundered vociferously and was in the course of jumping into yet another irritated tirade, until once again Dr. Ludwig irritably cut him off.

“Vampire, are you seriously going to act as if you are under the impression that we are even operating within the guidelines of the Chatham House Rule here, because if you are, you are not even in the ballpark parking lot or the same freaking dimension for that matter!”

Eric snarled, frustrated, short of putting his world famed expertise in torture to practice in order to extract information from them. Even then, it was no guarantee these two would stop recreating Silence of the Lambs or more like the Dumb and Dumber sequel.

“Vampire, you have been given all the information that THEY are willing to give. So be thankful THEY are giving you any, and, if I were you I would be concerned with how to get these three back to consciousness” she warned.

That snapped Eric back to the real issue. He has never felt this out of control before. Too much was riding on tonight’s outcome for his always rational mind of the immaculate strategist to look at the situation objectively. That on itself infuriated him to no end.

“How did they get there and why are they stuck?”

“They are stuck because they have no formal training or knowledge of how to enter the Crease and as for how they arrived there? My guess is that in a state of panic, she was able to somehow tap into the hidden powers of their complex heritage. Impressive that one.” Ludwig actually beheld Sookie with admiration, something very rarely, if ever, given to anyone by the tiny doc.

“What do you mean their complex heritage?” Count on Eric Northman to hear the subliminal slip of the tongue.

“Vampire, I am warning you to stop fishing around for information you are not fucking ready to hear.”  Fear was written all over her face and in her voice; clearly she revealed more than she was permitted to.

Well, boo-fucking-hoo, she may not be ready to spill the beans, but he was all ears. Eric was not feeling any sort of sympathy.

“What are they?” was his next question. He had shit to do, people to see as they say and no time for her enigmatic ass.

“Vampire, do you really believe I would answer that even if I knew?

“Fine and only for now, how do I get them back?”

Eric the Norseman never capitulated in pursuit of prey, he was an unrivaled schemer and knew all too well how to weigh his options. He knew when to surmise that exercising patience was the best call, even if it was enraging. The endgame was what mattered and he always came out on top.

“Again, how the fuck should I know? You saw her reaction to the only way I know of doing that.” Ludwig’s patience was wearing thin at his stupidity.

“There has got to be another way.” This time Eric addressed the sunny rondure. He was wearing his expressionless vampire façade and his voice betrayed nothing. All his emotional detachment was just a self-defense mechanism, however in his own vampire way he was pleading for his audience’s aid.

“Look, as much as you vampires are oblivious to this, there is such a thing as a freedom of choice. We cannot force her to come back or release the little ones and even if we could; the damages to all of them would be irreversible.”

“What do you mean; release the little ones? Why would she be holding them somewhere that is potentially dangerous to them?”

That is not how one defended one’s younglings. Nothing was making any sense to Eric, starting with the unwanted presence of sunny bright shithead, hovering midair.

“It is probably because that is the only way she found to shelter them from that reality.”

“And how exactly did she achieve that? Reverse the damn process and get them back! Their mother obviously had no clue to what she was doing.”

By the Gods, these two were not exhibiting any critical thought process.

“What the fuck do you think we were doing vampire?” Well, she had had it with him just as much.

“Yes, what precisely, were you two wackos trying to do?” Eric asked. The feeling was mutual.

Ludwig took a very long and deep breath, exhaled slowly and steadily, as if she was practicing yoga with none-other than the great Buddhist Nikayas, before addressing him.

“Are you familiar of what the Essential Spark is to the fae?”

“Yes.” Eric countered immediately, though really who knew with those secretive fuckers. The CIA black ops looked like a gossip fest in comparison to them. All he knew was that the term was something connected, somehow with their magical essence.

“What you saw in the physical bright sunny orb like forms were their Essential Sparks, which are the core of their magical verve. I am sure you are aware by now, they are no ordinary fae. They possess a second more powerful, uhh and I am just theorizing here, but let’s again call it a second Sentient Spark, their conscious and/or subconscious awareness. The two Sparks are inevitably intertwined within each other.” The way she said fae made Eric to suspect that labeling them as such was a straight Supe CIA cover-up, if he ever saw one.

“Are you referring to their Waning Gibbous?” he asked. He will bite his time and uncover the full extent of who HIS family was, whether shitThing One and shitThing Two liked it or not.

“Yes. She however was somehow able to fully disconnect her two Sparks and those of the children’s, essentially shutting down their consciousness. The result to which is the formation of a Waxing Gibbous, the remainder. A physical form each of their unconsciousness transcended into and in this precise moment those forms are drifting aimlessly in the Total Eclipse of the Universes.” Before he could badger her with more questions Ludwig rushed to finish her explanation. “And NO, I know even less of what the Total Eclipse is or what it represents.”

Eric just stared at her and the sunny rondure with nothing but pure loathing.

Fucking Useless these two!

Jessica Simpson was the president of MENSA, in comparison to moronThing One and dipshitThing Two.

“Northman, quit your bitching. I am privy to only the information I am allowed to have and I am given even that much only because I am their doctor.”

“What the fuck do we do now?” Eric shouted he was beyond frustrated or enraged; hopelessness was slowly creeping its way into his ability to speak or think rationally.

“We wait.” She calmly stated.

“You can’t be serious, what if they never wake up?” Eric roared at both, her and the sunny rondure.

Fucking USELESS, both of them!

His fucking shoe soles were more useful than them.

Anything for that matter was more useful to him than the two of them, even fucking True Blood and that shit was worse than Were blood. He can attest to that, after having lost a bet to Pam and being forced to try the miracle that allowed their vampiric reveal to humans. It all backfired at her and she bid farewell to her covered in blood spit vintage Coco Channel suit.

But, if drinking only True Blood for the rest of his existence was how he could get HIS family back, then so be it.

Eric was desperate at this point.

He took an unneeded breath and kept repeating his  – ‘4 seconds, shitload of paperwork’  – mantra before his inner beast exploded into a berserker’s killing spree this very instant.

“They ought to wake in a …” Ludwig drifted off and turned to the rondure for assistance, seeing how she was out of her element in all this, “very interesting, a week max is what I am been told it takes to make the journey back, by someone with no formal training.”

Eric really, really wanted to fucking head-thump her HARD. This was HIS family, not some quasi-experimental study with simians to see how long it will take them to figure out how to hot wire a car.

“A whole fucking week” Eric repeated impassively. “Again, what happens if they are still comatose after a week?”

“We did all we could here…” she spoke calmly and this time was Eric turn to interrupt.

“The fuck you DID! This is more than UNACCEPTABLE!” Eric growled with all of his might interrupting her ominous assertion.

The rondure started instantly pulsating brighter and Ludwig rushed to interpret and maybe, just maybe calm the infuriated vampire.

“If they do not wake within a week’s time, although there isn’t a reason for that to not be the case, since blondie here doesn’t possess that much stored energy, THEY will take them all physically to the Crease and coach them through to come back to consciousness.”

“The FUCK YOU WILL! No one is taking them anywhere or doing anything to them, without my approval and me being there! They are MINE!” his edict left no room for misunderstanding, just challenging them to anything remotely close to disagreeing with him and heads would most absofuckinglutely roll.

The sunny breathtaking rondure was behind Eric in less than a blink of an eye, giving him a good solid smack to the back of his head followed by a powerful electric jolt, before it disappeared into thin air. Just as quickly as it first decided to drop by for an unwelcome visit.  It was done cavorting with the self-centered vampire and at this point there was nothing left to do, but wait for Sookie to come to her own senses and return on her own.

“That fucker better never so much as think to show his ugly round ass in front of me ever again!” Eric bellowed beyond livid, as he pulled his hair back with a tight leather strap behind his neck.

Ludwig stayed quieter than a hooker at a Sunday service and decided it was not worth pointing out the numerous flaws in that statement. She unfortunately still had work to do and could not leave her patients, before she too was able to go in search of her own happy place, in preferably no less than several galaxies away from the unappreciative vampire.

“While you’re waiting for them to wake, you need to give them a single drop daily from the green vial, that will keep them hydrated and nourished and you need to dress their injuries with these herbs as I am about to demonstrate.” She started showing him by pulling a thick smelling substance out of one of the numerous pouches she had on hand, making Eric scrunch his nose in pure distaste.

“Why can’t I give them my blood?” the last thing he wanted was a visual reminder of tonight’s events on their gorgeous skin in the form of ugly scars. His healing blood was guaranteed to prevent that.

“Because it isn’t safe for them to ingest any.” Ludwig was back in her tranquil professional demeanor.

“In their current state? Or does that apply to them in general?” Eric quickly asked.

His blood was the fastest and indubitably permanent method of securing them to him and he was not going to settle for anything less. They were HIS.

“Can’t wait to drown them in your blood, can you vampire?”

Eric just hissed impatiently at Ludwig.

“You can tear open a vein as soon as all three wake, if that is what you desire. Though my advice is to ask for their permission before you force it down their throats. Something I strongly suggest you consider to save yourself from future proverbial headaches. No one is taking them away from you, vampire. If they wanted them they would have taken them already and there is jack shit you can do to stop them.”

All Eric heard was that they would not reject his powerful ancient blood. All he needed was two or maybe three drops of it into them to start the process of an unbreakable blood bond. As for anyone taking them from him, he did not pity the fools, who would be stupid enough to try.  He would kill all, before that silly thought was fully formed.

“Will there be any scarring left on their skin?” Eric asked deciding to ignore her last statement.

“Not, if you follow my directions.” Ludwig answered and proceeded to show him how to clean a nasty looking wound on Addy’s right arm before spreading a thin layer of the herb substance over the infant’s delicate skin.

“Is it safe for me to bathe them in a bath or under a shower spray before I do this every night?”

“I would recommend it in contrast to giving them a sponge bath and both methods are acceptable, just make sure to be mindful of the water spray obstructing their air supply, especially when it comes to the little ones, also the herbs though they may seem like a thick hard layer are easy to remove, so you don’t need to scrub their skin hard, it will easily wash away after soaking for a couple of seconds.”

Eric observed like a hawk all the Doctor’s movements, he was the picture of a prime pupil whilst committing every instruction to memory.  He watched intently how much pressure she applied, the amount of herb she spread to cover the wound and how much of it went to conceal the surrounding healthy tissue or the fact that she used a bottom to top approach along the length of the wound. It may have just been Ludwig’s personal preference, but Eric was cataloging it as if it was the spoken words of the Gods.  He would not take any chance when it came to the well-being of the three of them, even if it was something as simple as wiping Addy’s runny nose. Eric had a ghost of a smile in anticipation of when they wake and made a mental note to consult with Google for how does one, really clean snot from a baby.  Seeing how their mother was a stubborn mule, behavior she would pay dearly for, after the hell she put him through tonight’s events and with his luck when it come to them, he was convinced Addy would be first to wake and then proceed to undoubtedly cry like a banshee for her mommy.  He was facing a grand paradox, he did not want to allow access to them by anyone other than himself, but he also recognized that he lacked the knowledge how to rear a small child and in need of a succor.  Truth was he was selfish, they may as well paste his picture next to it in the dictionary and he wanted them exclusively for himself and himself only.

Eric did a quick mental recall if there was a person he trusted so implicitly as to share the burden of their care with, but the truth was that he simply did not trust anyone for anything. The only beings he felt trust and respect towards were those of his bloodline, which were composed of a very small number and one or two fellow Enforcers. In the Supe world said bloodline was notorious for standing behind an unbreakable united front. The motto they all existed by was kin blood above any and all, no exceptions for any cause. Thus, no one has heard of betrayal or even an argument within aforementioned bloodline. Pam dubbed them the original ride or die crew and any new wanna be punks had nothing on them, though Eric preferred to stand behind the ancient united or die divided elucidation. Anyone having problem with any one of them for any reason, had a problem with them all.

However when faced with care for HIS new found family the few people Eric did trust implicitly were also incapacitated by death during daytime hours.

If any enemy of his bloodline were to learn of HIS extended family’s existence, they would instantly perceive them as a weakness and easy targets.  Plus, any newcomers that had something to prove or simply did not know better, would most definitely try to earn quick fame and glory by attacking HIS family.

Eric wasted no time as he mentally started hiring around the clock worthy Supes for HIS family. Said list included protection, magical tutors, fight instructors, doubling the house help, etc. His Maker was the best individual to elicit help with this task. Eric was not sure of how to break this new development to him and most of all he was not certain of what all this the new emotions he was experiencing represented.  He was certain that he wanted them and that they were HIS now, just not entirely assured what was driving this, dare he say, all-consuming need for HIS Angels.

The next words Ludwig voiced stopped his planning mid thought.

“Keep any Supes away from them until they wake with the exception of your bloodline.”

“And why should I do such a thing Dr. Ludwig?” not that he was planning of having an introduction ceremony in their honor, but he was determined to keep them safe and comfortable, while exposing all the mysteries surrounding them.

Did he seriously just question her diagnosis? What medical school did his arrogant ass fall out of?

“Because I said so and because the current chemistry of their blood will call to all others like shit to an Army blanket.” Ludwig answered beyond exasperated at this point.

Dealing with this particular vampire made one desire to perform Seppuku just to get it over with already.

She was earnestly contemplating of just shoving a pint of Sookie’s blood back into him and leave him to his own devices.  At the very least he was amusing whilst trainspotting to lunacy.

Eric just gave her his best smile, if nothing it was entertaining to see the little dwarf rattled. Payback is a nasty biatch, ain’t she? Sometimes modern euphemisms just said it all and he may or may not have indulged in some of his clandestine David Chappelle obsession earlier in his office.

“Any suggestion as to how I should proceed in the event that one or both children wake during the day hours and way ahead of schedule of their mother, Dr. Ludwig?” Eric asked in his most respectful tone and still wearing his best smile, covering nothing of his sarcasm and growing enjoyment of pissing the hell out of her.

Yes, fall on a nice big tree branch and deliver us from headache, asshole! Is what she really wanted to say, however she was a professional after all, so she bit her tongue back hard, extremely hard actually.

“Yes, with this, take a drop of it before dawn until their mother is ready to take care of them” she handed him the vial of the sky blue substance, that seemed to magically diminish to exactly one single drop the instant he was holding it.

Eric did not even ask the million questions that were swirling inside his vast brain and just crooked an eyebrow at her.

The thought of holding, in the palm of his hand, the cure for defeating death during daylight hours or by the power of Odin, seeing the sun after a thousand years, was exhilarating to say the least.

Eric was very old, though not considered an Ancient by vampire standards, but an Elder one nonetheless. Which allowed him to be conscious and fully functioning for a couple hours after dawn and before sunset, but he still eventually succumbed to the power of the sun just as any other vampire.  There was not an exact formula to age equating prolonged daylight cognizance, nevertheless it seemed the older one got the longer they could stay awake.

His Maker was an Ancient and able to withstand the call of the sun even longer, even a full day or days if needed. However, Eric could not stand firmly behind said theory, because there were rumors of vampires much older than Eric and His Maker combined that were unable to stay awake even half the time he could.

Vampires held all their secrets close to their chests, especially one such as this. That rule applied to all Supe beings, to know ones strength is to know ones weaknesses. Then there were the rumors of Day Walkers among them, which may or may not be a vampiric gift of his bloodline, to which Eric would neither attest nor deny. Age, physical strength and special vampire gifts such as mass glamouring, flying, tracking, precognition or detection of hybrid Supe species all seem to have an influence on the amount of time a vampire resisted the call of the sun.

Ludwig, however continued giving Eric instructions as if she did not give a rat’s arse about vampire’s day death. She really could not care less about it nor for the annoying vampire next to her.

“It will replenish its self to the right dose every morning, thus diminishing the chance of you overindulging and once she is awake the vial will evaporate on its own. The liquid would not allow you to walk in the sun, though I would not stop you if you decide to,” she smirked and mentally crossed her fingers in prayer.

She was tight with most of the Gods after all and small miracles do tend to happen on rare occasions.

Eric once again refrained from giving her a head-thump and thus eliminating a few inches of her already pathetic stature, as he listened and hissed at her through his sharp fangs in warning.

“It would not keep you from day slumber whilst they are still in the Total Eclipse, but it would work as a mild form of a blood bond. In a way that you would be able to feel when they wake and in return keep you awake to care for them. You wouldn’t be privy to what they are feeling.” Ludwig continued explaining.

“How do I care for them?” and there it was, Eric Northman swallowing his pride.

It was Ludwig’s turn to smile and boy did she! It was all kinds of spine-chilling.

“Never cared for a child, have you vampire?” her voice was joyous, maybe she should stick around for the moment they wake, the video footage was guaranteed to be an instant classic.

Vampire parenting for utter idiots, everything you should NOT do.

”The most important thing is to feed them …”

“What?” Eric asked interrupting her mid-sentence.

“Food, what do you think?” Ludwig answered just as quickly.

This night was just dragging ass with the way these two kept going at each other.

“No shit, doctor!” Eric growled back at her.

“Very good vampire, too much bacteria and least nutritious value.” She praised him in earnest, with sarcasm being the main course on the prescribed menu.” Milk for the little girl, goat milk is the closest to texture and consistency of a human mother’s milk. Warm, no more than 99°F and use glass bottles, none of that plastic shit humans are so fond of, make sure to burp her afterwards. Disinfect the bottles in boiling water the first time and every time after feeding, also use cloth diapers, it helps with toilet training. Which she should start if she hasn’t already. Simply put her on a potty as soon as she wakes. She may have started solid foods, but it’s safe to minimize introducing new things to her until her mother is awake, your presence would be enough of a shocker I am sure.  I’ll give you literature on all this; you should familiarize yourself with it as quickly as possible. The boy is old enough to eat any food and from my scan earlier tonight I didn’t detect any allergies for any of the three. He is old enough to voice his food preferences, but stick to the recommended four food groups: 1st. Meat, fish, poultry, eggs; 2nd. Milk, cheese, and other dairy products; 3rd. Fruits and vegetables; 4th. Potatoes, rice, flour products. Minimum sugar and find an organic supplier, avoid processed foods. Here.” She dug into her Gladstone bag and handed him what looked like a 100 page pamphlet. “This should answer any question you may have.”

“What is the chance of their mother snapping out of it first?” was Eric’s hopeful question after all that information.

The mere thought of toilet training was just straight up craptasticly shitabulous.  Eric was starting to rethink this whole, having your cake and eat it, situation. Maybe he can glamour their mother into forgetting their existence until they grow to a reasonable age. Oh say, they weren’t pissing and shitting themselves.

Worst or best case scenario, depending on whose point of view, Pam may be in more shit that she anticipated. Though leaving Pam to tutor the children for any given period of time was how serial killers were born, albeit with an immaculate fashion sense, of course. They stood a better chance being raised by Chucky, the friendly porcelain doll.

“As of this moment slim to none” Ludwig answered in even more jubilant voice. “Call me as soon as any of them wake so I can check on them.”

“You speak, as if you are certain that they would wake in a weeks’ time.”

“There isn’t a reason for it not to be true. The last thing, you need to do is keep this” she handed him the yellow crystal stone from earlier “where they lay, it will protect them and when the time comes you will need to turn it into necklaces for them.”

“Protect them from what?”

“Those who seek to destroy them” the Doctor replied. Duh!

“What aren’t you telling me Ludwig? Who is after them?” Eric was done playing name the kryptonite.

“Vampire, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that now that you have claimed them, they are no longer hidden to the Supe world.”

“It’s been a while since I took part in a good fight.” Eric was all kinds of giddy.

“Don’t be cocky, vampire. Listen to those who will aid you. You may be old and experienced, however you are but an infant to some.” It was more than obvious she was included in said group.

“And what is your role in all of this Ludwig?”

“Dr. Ludwig to you, Northman, and I am here for their medical needs, should any arise. Take good care of them vampire or the consequences would be of an Armageddon proportion to us all. I will send your bill by the end of next week, check your PaymePal.” With that she vanished in thin air just as swiftly as she first appeared.

Good riddance to that shitpile of nuisance was all Eric could say on that exit. Fucking show off teleporters. Would it fucking kill them to pretend to know what a door is for? That did not stop him from slamming it after her though.

Eric always took full advantage of any pleasure his undead life presented him with.

He took his time examining the yellow crystal. It was extraordinarily stunning, otherworldly no question. It was warm to the touch, weighed heavier that one would expect and reflected beams of pure sunlight in all directions, as if it had an auric essence to it.

That shithead sunny rondure, better not be fucking chillaxing inside of it.

Pam was at his side the next instant, she had taken off like a lightning bolt the second the bright sphere encasing the house dispersed with the Doctor’s departure.

“Master what was all of this zombie shit storm?” By the emotional turmoil flooding their bond she was obviously shaken, although externally she displayed her usual bored bratty demeanor.

This was as close to full on panic Pam had ever gotten. She was as loyal as they come and being prevented in assisting her Maker until now, did not sit well with her.

Eric placidly palmed his Childe’s face and kissed her forehead.

“Zombies don’t exist, Pam how many times do I have to tell you this?”

“So you keep saying and I’m still not convinced, you haven’t presented any concrete evidence to the contrary and especially not after tonight.” She pointed to their captives.

Hello, fae zombies over there!

Eric just shook his head at her silliness. It kept getting worse with every new Walking Dead episode.  A month ago she actually went so far as to voice her desire to start petitioning for a Freedom of Information Act to the Supe Council in order to get to the bottom of it. That was when he had to put his foot down and nipped that genius idea in the bud, by issuing a Maker’s Command forbidding her to making an ass out of herself and him by association. Which did nothing to further quell her ZOMG! conspiracy obsession.

“Seriously Eric, what the fuck is going on?”

“Not sure Pam, but rest assured I will get to the bottom of it. Do you have the full report on them?” he was staring intently at HIS family, as if all the mysteries surrounding them will magically unveil themselves or at the very least they will wake the fuck up already.

“Emailed it to you nine minutes ago, had Spider dig up everything that was Stackhouse. There is something exceedingly weird about them Eric.”

“Your point, my Childe?” Tonight was not the night if Pam thought she could get away with her usual catty behavior.

“Her name is SOOKIE, what does that tell you? If that doesn’t scream batshit insane, then maybe her nickname of Crazy Sookie, she is known as around her little bumfuck redneck town, certainly should. Just the location should be enough of a warning.” Pam waved her hands, frustrated, in the air.

“Pamela that was your last warning.” Eric was right in her face, his voice calm as a Hindu cow, blood boiling like a March hare.

“I am worried Master, what happens when their Fairy kin finds out about this? You know they are not going to take very kindly to that idea. This has Supe war written all over it” she whispered staring at the floor.

“Pam, look at me.” When she finally did, Eric flooded their bond with pride and adoration. “You will always be my first Childe, Pam. They are not replacing you.” Eric was once again cupping her delicate face in his enormous hands, gently brushing his large thumbs over her rouged cheeks.

“But not the only one.” She murmured.

Pam never felt insecure, not ever, and this new sensation was as foreign to her as it could get, making her all kinds of uncomfortable.

“You knew that the day would come, when I will expand our bloodline Pam.”

“With a worthy human to be turned into a vampire Childe, Eric. Not a Fairy mother with two nom noms!”

“I have made my decision Pam. I am not going to force it onto you, but if you have a problem with it and want to leave I am not going to stop you. You will always have my protection, support and loyalty, my Childe. Rest assured.”

“Master….?” She whispered and could not bring herself to voice the fear that was starting to consume her.

Jealousy was rapidly creeping over her, how could he choose some strangers over her, over his own blood? They have been together for more than two centuries and he has never shown any signs nor said anything indicating that he may be getting tired of her company.

“I am exceedingly selfish Pam. I will always want you by my side. However, every Vampire Childe leaves its Maker at some point and I stand by my words the night you first rose as Mine: When the time comes and you are ready to do so, I will let you go willingly and never hold the reasoning behind your choice against you. You will always have my support” when she looked like she was going to respond Eric quickly silenced her with his right thumb over her mouth “and I am also very old Pam. I know what I want and if I find it, I take it. They are not going anywhere Pam. “

“So this isn’t you replacing me?”

“No, my Childe. This is me doing what I also do.” Eric smiled with his signature smirk.

“There is more to this Eric, what aren’t you telling me? I can feel you and it’s more than a simple case of wanting something.”

“I can’t describe it Pam, but the moment I laid eyes on them I felt them as MINE. They were always MINE, are to be always MINE and only MINE.”

“Is this the Pull for a Childe you’ve told me about?”

“Not exactly, it’s different. When I saw you I felt this unstoppable and all-consuming pull, the Pull, towards you and I knew you were to be Mine, to be My Childe. It was like the sun pulling you to day rest, you intuitively know its origins and what course of action you are to take. With them….” Eric drifted off as he raptly stared at them lost in thought.

“So if you don’t want them for Children, for what then?”

“I did not say I don’t want them for Children, I said that the impulse to claim them as MY OWN was instantaneous and that is what I did.  If turning them is how I am to keep them, then that is what I am going to do, because I am NEVER letting them go, EVER. “

“So this is a Pull, you wanting to play house with them? Are you serious?”

“Deadly!” He erupted in a wholehearted laughter.  Eric was a truck full of all kinds of things, none of which being domestic.

Both of them stood silent for a long time and Eric purposely closed the bond between them. Though he would not stop Pam from leaving if she so decided, he was not ready to hear it. No words or looks were exchanged between them. Both of them turned to the three immobile bodies and their own thoughts. Eric was recounting every detail, every word that was spoken tonight like an instructional video. Rewinding, pressing pause and taking notes for every move, every action, and every slight change in tone of voice.

Millions of unanswered questions and their possible repercussions were invading his mind at a striking speed.

After a long time when Pam asked him once again what happened in her absence, he went in great detail to divulge all he had learned from the events that took place. She would interrupt and either ask him to elaborate on some of them or voice her concern over possible consequences. She stood quiet for the most part, just observing it all. Both of them had no point of reference to who or what the little family of three could be. Taciturnity once more permeated the space between them.

“I’m not babysitting for you and there isn’t a snowball chance in hell I am changing a diaper.” Pam finally said in a bored voice.

Over her true and final death, or more like in Pam’s true nightmare.

“We’ll see. I can already hear them calling for their all-time favorite Big Sis Pammy.” Eric just laughed at her.

“The Fuck they will!” Pam hissed, reconsidering her decision to stick around.

Who was she kidding; she will never leave her Master no matter how nutty he obviously was getting in his old age. She gave him a look that expressed her conviction that he no doubt was becoming senile.

Eric laughed even harder at her, truly enjoying the irritation she was feeling. As amusing as pissing her off was he needed to tend to HIS family’s injuries and a meeting with even more angry vampires to get to later tonight. He could feel her mixed emotions over what this represented for them as he started walking towards the ensuite bathroom to start filling the bathtub with warm water. She was worried, infuriated, cautious, intrigued and a slew more of feelings raging from pure repugnance to cravings, for the fae lanced blood running in their veins no doubt.

As he was turning the tap and about to adjust the water temperature, he felt Pam’s emotional spike of suspicion going through the roof and her determination to act. He vamped back to the room immediately. If she did anything to harm any of HIS Angels in any way he will send her to her final death that fucking second. What he did find was not at all what he expected, something far worse and even more terrifying. A blue orb was holding her immobile against the wall and rapidly scorching her exposed flesh, making her scream in agony.

Eric acted on instinct.

He attacked not caring for the consequences or the fact that he had no knowledge of who the foe was or how to defeat it.


So, what do you think or should I ask if you guys are still out there, do you want more? My goal is to update within no later than two weeks’ time, however real life got a little hectic this month and I apologized if some of you are irked by the long wait. Do you guys prefer longer or more frequent short chapters? I know I get uber irritated if I get to read something worth five or fewer minutes, leaving me wanting for more.

Please leave a comment so I know I am not just blabbering here all by my lonely wholesome and Thank you in advance for it.

Ps. Jfozz, I humbly thank you.


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6 responses to “4:: The Fuck you will!

  1. WolvesHaveReturned

    May 28, 2015 at 1:31 am

    “….Not a faerie mother with two nom noms.” DYING!!! Fantastic!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • mp5KOVA

      May 28, 2015 at 2:39 am

      it’s funny you are reading that chapter, as I am working on re-editing it right this very moment. :))))


  2. Natsgirl

    July 26, 2015 at 4:54 am

    So the Essential Spark is really an entity unto itself? That is new! Eric on diaper duty! Had me chuckling. Good backstory for Ludwig and Eric and now I’m curious about who his claimed Maker might be.

    Liked by 1 person

    • mp5KOVA

      July 26, 2015 at 10:24 am

      🙂 U r a smart cookie, most people didn’t get the Spark let alone the Maker hint 😉


  3. Patty Hudson Fullwood

    December 23, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    I love the pet names Eric has for the good Doctor!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ljhjelm

    April 6, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    My Eric is going to have his hands full with the children.

    Liked by 1 person


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